Journal entry 07/04/05

Another night sleeping on the sofa cos I toss and turn so much I keep my boyfriend awake which isn't fair. More wiard dreams again last night. Drinking again and eating junk food again...yet I feel so guilty for doing so, I have a family to look after and not to mention I need to lose weight. I need to talk about all of this. Every October and April is the same, I seem fine inbetween. I've been referred to a counsellor in 2-3 months, but even then I dont know if I could commit, I mean childcare is expensive on top of my normal working days and she will probably only be allowed to see me for a few weeks, I mean, whats the point in that? I need to get this out my system, it may take months and even a couple of years, I'm sick of the NHS, they don't know how to care for me.

laura