Journal entry 11/04/05 (TW)

I am tired after training for my new job. My boyf is away tonight at a business meeting in London. So I am reflecting on my PTSD. Yesterday I lost it and felt an urge to scream...so I did...and I screamed b******d! My sleep includes lots of nightmares and memories are so vivid right now. I feel so angry all the time. It is April, the time of the trial and physical assault/battery. It is normal, I read. But I still strive for life otherwise he has won. R*** is not about s**, it is about power. People say things that just trigger me and I fight back the tears yet, strangely I do not have any. All I feel right now is anger and numbness. I have a new job with excellent training, I start Uni in september, I have a beautiful son and cute boyf and I keep living, it is all I can do.

Laura